User blog:The Boron Detective/Epic Rap Battles of This is Bohring 1: Niels Bohr vs Erwin Schrödinger
Niels Bohr: Looks like I'm up against the so-called scientist napping in the Sommerfield, Taking the crumbs off of my research table, so this will be your last meal. I work in quantum theory but my victory will be a law, you'll be boiling, For making conjecture about boxes, cats, double think and poison! This isn't a Unified Field, I'm decades beyond your petty machinations! Inflicting pain so drastic it's beyond your philosophical imaginations! I know you were dying to meet me so let me get this point across: Getting your ass kicked by Niels Bohr, guess you've both won and lost! Erwin Schrödinger: Hello, Niels, I haven't revisited you in a long time. I used you as a basis for my works but I wouldn't even touch your rhymes! And as to your lines, man, that shit was pretty Bohr-ing, let me counter: Disses like your Theory of the Atom, nitpick-y lines and lines with subpar banter! I revolutionized science while you were cranking out kids! They really drag down life, so I was like fuck that shit. I'm decades ahead of you, and while you look at the monstrosity you made with Eins, I've thrashed you so badly, you too will be left wondering "What is Life?" J. Robert Oppenheimer: Just shut it you two, you've pushed it to the Oppenheimer Limit: This star goes super-dense and leaves you Born approximations finished! Back up Bohr in nuking Erwin, face it, you're known for being a pussy, But my Kitty could give you a run for your money in being Dr Seuss-y! And back to the elemental dunce, if my rapping hasn't blown your mind, You've payed as much attention to it as quantum theory in your later life! And even now that I've died, science feels my Gravity, Man! Now I'll split from this battle, like Schrödinger on Futurama, bam! Stephen Hawking: The real G is rolling in, bow down before this Haw-king, Because I added to science faster than the universe was expanding! There are trillions upon trillions of particles we can observe: I can tie them all together into disses to leave you served! Everything is relative, I'll be blazing past light speed from your view And dump a Big Bang on you harder than even alien invasion could do! Regardless of my flaws, all your works surely sunk into a black hole That being my verse as it's radiating in ways surely lethal, bro! Takaaki Kajita and Arthur B. McDonald: Enough from the astronomer causing physicist divisions. You certainly would like our thoughts less than a physician's! Look at our oscillations, it's clear our rhymes carry weight We'd tell you to sit down, Hawking, but it's a bit late. We're the flavour of the month that'll leave you spiced up! Spitting hot as a solar neutrino against these chumps! We'll spit cosmic rays and beat you into particles, Proving the neutrino team is and has the genuine article. The End: Tell me if you thought this battle was any good and if you think I should do more. For understanding's sake, Takaaki Kajita and Arthur B. McDonald are the winners of the 2015 Nobel Prize for Physics, for detecting neutrino oscillations and thus proving that neutrinos have weight. Who won? Niels Bohr Erwin Schrödinger J. Robert Oppenheimer Stephen Hawking Takaaki Kajita and Arthur B. McDonald I HAVE A HINT FOR MY NEW BATTLE Near the end of the year, a shadowed individual falls through a hole, and winds up in a new world entirely... Or, so they wrote. Category:Blog posts